When I was thirteen, I said fuck for the first time.
I was really super impressed with myself. I was such an adult! And saying it felt so succinct, so right.
Seventeen years later, I still swear when I feel like it. Iāve also worked for and with massive corporations, and held customer facing jobs where I won titles and awards like ābest customer supportā and āzero escalations.ā
Hereās the thing about that:
Bad words donāt equal bad service, or a bad attitude.
Swearing doesnāt make me:
Stupid
Uneducated, or
Disrespectful
And, when I choose to swear in my business, it doesnāt put me at a disadvantage, or a lower level of professionalism than those around me.
Donāt even get me STARTED on swearing not being a ~ladylike thing to do.
Hereās why I donāt censor myself.
When it comes down to it, I swear in my business because I swear in real life.
The long version of this is:
When I first started blogging, back when the internet was still in black and white, I tried real hard to be like everyone else. Even in the last few years, Iāve made a real effort at being that #GirlBoss I saw all over Pinterest and in Facebook Groups.
It felt hollow and insincere. As the last shadows of 2015 were disappearing over my head, I had a sudden moment of clarity: I HATED what I was doing.
Everything felt forced. Fake. It didnāt feel like me at all. I could have replaced my face with any woman from a stock photo site, and the message would have been exactly the same.
That isnāt the heart I wanted for myself or my business. I deserve more than that. My business deserves more than that.
I deserve more than that. My business deserves more than that. Click To TweetSo, slowly, word by word, I began to strip the old content that sounded like it was written by some buzzword filled ~Instagram addict, and I began to use my own – natural – voice instead. Suddenly I wasnāt writing for someone elseās business. I wasnāt trying to fill the void. I was being myself for the first time in a long time, and it felt right.
And did you know that, in all 300 words of this article so far, Iāve only said fuck once?
I donāt swear to give em the old razzle dazzle, and I donāt swear to make myself seem ~quirky or hardcore.
In fact, I think the one feeling that connects us all as human beings, is the feeling of smashing our baby toe in the dead of the night, and having that immediate gut-reaction of fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Okay, now Iāve sworn three times. Four if you count all those extra Uās.
The Double Standard
I donāt want to trash women in business, or any woman at all.
That being said, I do have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to women and swearing.
Two chips, in fact. Letās go with the chip on my left shoulder first.
You know those women who say sugar and fudge instead of shit or fuck?
We all know that person. Iām picturing my sugar-and-fudge lady right now.
EVERYONE KNOWS what words youāre substituting those ~sweet treats for. In my opinion, your intention behind a word is the same thing as saying the actual word.
So, I get not wanting to swear. I do. But if youāre going to substitute similar sounding words for the actual swear word, youāre still putting that fuck-and-shit vibe out. Youāre just covering it with something that would get through a swear word filter.
In fact, I would even say itās a little insincere.
Now letās get to the chip on my right shoulder.
In my experience, women love to judge other women for pretty much anything. I try not to, but sometimes I do it, too. My clothes are nicer than hers. I have a prettier face than she does. Iām not as brash as she is.
I donāt swear like she does.
Judging others makes us feel better about ourselves: thatās one of the reasons we do it. I have definitely been held under the āIām a nicer person than you are because I donāt swearā thumb. Iām also familiar with such sentiments as āladies donāt talk like thatā and āyou should be better than that.ā
Actually, asshole, weāre both terrible people. I am a lady, and I am good.
Swearing is not an indication of character, in the same way swearing is not an indication of class, race, intelligence or ineptitude. Swearing is not an indication of how successful I am, or how trustworthy my word is.
Itās just another part of me. Just like everything else that makes my personality mine.
But I donāt like it!
Thatās fine, I donāt like you, either.
Just kidding – I like you like a stranger. Iām sure if we got to know each other, weād be friends.
If you donāt like swear words, thatās fine. I understand there are different things for different people: using this type of language just happens to be mine.
That being said, that doesnāt mean I have to change my business or my vocabulary. Iām not going to bully you into saying something youāre not comfortable with; Iām going to close my browser tab, and continue on my merry way.
This is the internet, guys. You can find a blog or content creator that suits you.
Thereās someone out there for everyone (aww!) and there are things I avoid, too. I would make you a list, but that would be contradictory and Burn Book-y.

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I love this!! I definitely agree that its more important to be you and use your real voice than to try to cater your content and style to what you *think it should be.
This is just such a great post. Thank you for sharing it!
– MG // https://malissagreenwood.com
This is perfect! I could not agree more. Thank you, thank you, thank you!